So I'm a Vegan and am inexplicably stuck on a fucking desert island? Seems legit...



TLDR: GARDENING

Well, shit, asides from the fact that most small islands have sweet holiday resorts and cafes/bars on them, where i'd likely promptly use my remaining cash if I had any, to get smashed, I'd certainly have a better chance at survival nomming a few plants than jumping straight into attempted bare handed fights with local wildlife armed with sweet fuck all other than maybe a rock or a stick, my canines are waaay too small to pierce an animals hide, and my claws are a bit flimsy at best, given that, I don't feel like a particularly effective carnivore.

Let's see, I've never in my life lit a fire without any tools, and from what I've seen it's a doozy... the whole rubbing 2 sticks together thing doesn't always pan out too well, I mean seriously, how much fucking rubbing does it take until something explodes in flames, if it were easy I'd be seriously worried for any sexual partners you might have there... I'm sure however we can get there eventually, totes hot! ;)

So unless I'd mastered that (hopefully before death) then attempting to catch or eat anything that requires cold hard steel or a small inferno is completely wasted energy, also I'm not too keen in these early stages to get into a rough and tumble with a wild boar and die a horrible horrible bleedy death. Unless of course you plan on building loads of traps to catch things to eat (lol good luck with succeeding at that before death you master crafter you) which will require tools like, well, fuck I don't know, ropes and a knife to skin the animal, which seems unlikely, as if you ended up on a desert island (via maybe a holiday cruise or a plane crash), the chances you randomly had a knife on you are sweet fuck all unless you had plans to hijack a plane...

Also catching and cooking meat if you managed it with your advanced barehanded hunting skills, is going to attract any larger predators that may be on the island, and personally I'd plan on living a little longer than that...

I'm assuming I've washed up on a shoreline and would proceed to find shell fish and mussels to eat, as they have no central nervous system, are piss easy to catch and can't feel pain, they are basically meaty plants of the ocean, can be eaten raw, and the energy they provide would be enough for me to subsist while figuring out other food sources.

Also, wait this whole proposition relies on there being animals here to eat? Nice, that means there's an ecosystem to support them, and fuck loads of edible plants, if there were no animals I'd be worried, and given the amount of plants required to grow an entire animal, the edible vegetation is going to be abundant...
So, mussels, followed by foraging... Not that hard fool, also death by fire, boar, angry tiger, and salmonella from improperly cooked food is wildly reduced, woop woop!

As far as making it sustainable goes, I'd immediately start gardening the fuck out of any edible foods I found. Humans invented agriculture for a reason...

And yes, if I was definitely going to fucking die, and I found some eggs, or an easily catchable animal (perhaps a kiwi?) and a means to cook it, or some bugs, sure I'd do that, feel justifiably shitty about it, do my best to honour it's sacrifice to keep me alive (seriously though, lets not assume you wouldn't feel some level shame or empathy going through with killing an innocent earthling by hand...), and continue to make a sustainable plant based garden.

So... if you lived on a large landmass with a developed society that had access to a huuuge range of meat substitutes, could easily survive on plant based foods (and even get fuck tonnes of protein) without killing any animals, and had a conscience, what would you do?

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